Our journey throughout our first year of marriage and our second deployment.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Ready for the weekend!!

I am back on my feet, and just in time for the weekend!  I didn't have my first two classes this morning, so I only had jazz band, Women in Literature, and my technique lesson!  YAY!

This morning was just a mess and a half though.  David and I slept in and then when we got up and about, we were scrambling to get things done, taking over for one task while the other began another.. toppling over one another in the bathroom (Oh for the days when our bathroom is large enough for both of us and the dogs!) and both not feeling completely 100%.  It was definitely interesting.

I left for class knowing our place was a complete mess of papers, books, beds, stuff.. cups.. you name it, it was all over the place.  School is definitely in full swing at our home.  And Tristen and Jared are coming in tonight to spend the weekend with us, so I was mortified to tell her to have her expectations low and apologizing for the appearance of our home.  I am a very neat and clean person.  I can't stand when things are out of place (because everything has a place) and when there are books, cups, papers, things all over the place.  I live in organization, not chaos.  And people tell me that will change when I have kids.  I want to laugh and ask if they know anything about me, or if they have had the pleasure of meeting my mother. I LOVE decorating and investing in the appearance of my home and even though there will be toys out and about someday and clothes/blankets all over the place, I'm like a Speed Cleaner!  And it will all be picked up every night before I go to bed. I'll blog about it and you can hold me accountable with it in a few years! ;)

SO!!! Tristen, as adorable as she is, asks if I need her to clean when she gets here!  No, Angel!  You are my guest, that's fine.. but thank you!  I go to class, get all that stuff taken care of and come home to..... a CLEAN and organized apartment thanks to my INCREDIBLE husband!!  I was so excited!  He did everything!  Organized and cleaned up the upstairs, made the guest bed with the new mattress cover, made our bed, put everything away, VACCUUMED!!!, took all the cups and dishes downstairs, cleaned the kitchen, picked up the living room, swept the floors, took out the trash and even went into work early!  WOW.

I was so excited I called him up, knowing he was working, just to leave a voicemail to let him know how very much I love him and how thankful I am for everything he did.  I'm blown away!!  So, now.. we both get to just enjoy the weekend and have fun with Tristen and Jared while they're here!  I'll post pictures later!  Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What A Week!!

It's been one heck of a week! Ups and downs and back ups again!  Goodness!

Well, let's start with the weekend, shall we? Since there was no real sense of where the week started off for us.... ok, for me.  We both worked a lot on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and then decided to go down to David's family reunion/get together thing on Monday.  I could have kicked myself because I had literally hundreds of pages of reading to do for all my classes this week and I didn't bring a single book.  So unproductive.  This was also really our first time going to see family together since he's been back.  It was an interesting day. 

Ok, I'm going there. I know there are those that immediately adjust into their spouses' family, and there are those who never adjust, and then still those who take some time adjusting.  I am the last one.  And David is the first one.  It's all based on the family we've had and what we're used to, and the family we're coming into.  It's just very different, and I forget how different it is every time.  Different isn't bad, it's just learning how to find my place in the mix of it.  I think that's been the biggest struggle is adapting to the differences of what I've grown up with and then also figuring out how I fit into it. I love David's family, they are my family also! And I don't doubt their love for me.  I would do anything for any member of the Roark clan and I cannot even begin to explain to you HOW MUCH I love my nieces and nephews!! They are my pride and joy and I brag about them constantly!  And I have plenty to brag about! 

**Proud Aunt moment coming** 
Josh is the oldest and he is so intelligent, as are all of my nieces and nephews! He has the most descriptive and incredible imagination of anyone I know!  And goodness he could read in any setting.  On Monday, at one point, he was reading while laying backwards on the couch with his head on the ground, feet in the air, and book upside down on the floor in front of him!  So funny! 

And then there's Andrew!  He is such a loving and passionate boy and he gets so excited about everything he has to tell you!  He's protective and caring of everyone around him and he is also a new believer in Jesus Christ!  We had the joy and pleasure of watching him get baptized on Monday. 

 Jacob is next and it is hard to describe Jacob... he is just that!  Goodness, he can be the biggest stinker and sweetheart all at the same time!  I love my hugs from Jacob and how smart and perceptive he is, even for a four year old.  I will never forget coming over to visit one day and Jacob told me about evaporation and cumulonimbus clouds... I felt like I needed to go back to elementary school! 

Gabe is the next oldest and that boy just brightens my heart!  I love when we pull up and he screams "AUNT BISCUIT!!!!" from across the yard and races to give hugs!! There is a happiness and joy that exudes from him that is so contagious! 

 Faith isn't much younger and probably the most interesting soon-to-be 4 year olds to have a conversation with!  She is so carefree and spirited!  This summer, we had Faithy/Aunt Ruffles dates and at one point, she rode with me to go to Oklahoma City to pick up Gabe.  We talked the entire way there.  She is intuitive and perceptive of even the smallest things and I feel like I can have a real conversation with her.  She is also brilliant!  She's very smart for her age and is quick to soak in any knowledge around her.  We were stopped getting lunch one day and I had Stravinsky's Octet playing, I was conducting to it, and I looked in the mirror.. and she was conducting it almost perfectly as she watched me!  I was a little jealous! ;)

Anna is the baby girl in the family, but not for long! She is definitely a princess, but she can hold her own!  She is so sweet and innocent and says the cutest little things!  And like all the other kids, she DEFINITELY loves her Uncle David!  She is just darling, there's no other way to describe her!

Israel and Gideon are the current babies of the family, and they couldn't be more different!  Izzy is a boy of few words, but you'll know what he wants when he wants something!  He gives the funniest faces and plays like he doesn't understand what's going on.  He also has a very carefree.. I do what I want attitude and I love that about him!  On Monday, we all sat down to watch Tangled and Izzy climbed up and snuggled with me multiple times!  It was so precious!  Gideon is not talkative, but he's vocal!  And he gives the best faces too.  At lunch on Monday he kept screaming NOOO and I was trying to tell him to stop.  He'd do it again, and then just give me this look of "I know what I'm doing, and I want your attention!!" So snarky!  I loved it! 

They are all so different, but I love them with every part of me!  My favorite times are when Uncle David and I walk through the door and can't get through the entry way because all of the kids have gathered there.  And they are all growing up so quickly, I don't want to miss a single thing. 

So, Monday was adventurous, as always.  I felt bad because after lots of working and not a lot of sleeping, I just crashed at Sarah and Jeff's house.  It wasn't for long, but still.  After a little while, David and I headed out to go Car Shopping!  He'd brought up leaving a little early to go look at some places, and so we did!  We'd been looking at Muranos since before he left for Afghanistan last year and then we also started looking at Rogues a few weeks ago.  We had already decided to go and get our car at a dealership in Tulsa, so today was about getting a good feel for the vehicles and deciding which one would be best for us. 

We looked at the Rogue, and it was nice.. but I couldn't justify buying one because it wasn't much different from my current Taurus.  We went to look at an older blue model that happened to be next to A WHITE MURANO!!!  :D  I looked at David and said "Can't you see me driving this?" He just smiled and said "I definitely can, but I wanted to give you options and for you to pick!" We took the Murano for a test drive and then there was no question!  It is an older model, slightly used, but it is in wonderful and exactly what we were looking for.  We thought about it and we've been praying for months to find the right car.. and so after discussing all the details and talking with both our Dad's, we decided to go for it!! AHHH!!!  So, we bought our first car!!


I know, I know... kind of crazy!! But, we were excited!

David had class on Tuesday, and I had studio, but not really class, and then it went downhill.  Tuesday night, after staying up until after 1:00 AM doing homework and reading for class, my throat began to swell up and it was so sore, even when I wasn't swallowing.  As the night progressed, I tried to sleep but just kept tossing and turning.. my head felt like a balloon that had been blown to capacity and could pop at any moment. David said I snored louder than he's ever heard me snore!  And I'm a weenie when it comes to pain, so I decided to go to the doctor first thing Wednesday morning.  David wanted me to wait for him and go after noon so he could be there, but there was no way.  I was uncomfortable and I wanted to get it taken care of ASAP!! 

My doctor checked everything over and said she's pretty sure it's just a sinus infection and a head cold.  I hate when they say "It's just this.." when I am absolutely miserable!  But that's ok.  They also gave me two shots in the hip to get the medicine in my system quicker, and I handle those needles like a champ!! :) I've determined if I want to have children, I'm eventually going to have to get over my fear of needles.

I came home, and bless David's heart, I've been sleeping, snoring, trying to do reading for homework, and sipping down Sprite ever since.  He's been so helpful and always makes me feel better, but I have to get back to 100% soon in case he gets sick, and with Tristen and Jared coming to stay with us this weekend! Craziness!!!  I hope everyone has had a great week!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

GAMEDAY!!

It's GAMEDAY in Oklahoma!!!  And we're working! Haha!  Week 2 of school is finally over!  I finished with a pretty awesome lesson yesterday and then right before I was about to head to work, I got a call saying they didn't need me! :D  So, David and I had another date night last night!!  It was great!  We drove around Stillwater, went shopping a little!  He bought me two super cute OSU shirts, so now I have no excuse to not sport our colors!  We also went to Best Buy and even though we would LOVE to get a camera, we're going to wait until we're ready to start having children so we can get the newer model!  He gave a pretty good case for getting a new flat screen TV... even to the point of telling me how we could rearrange the living room, but I just had to say one word.  "Car." :)  That will be our next purchase!  So, we're excited to start looking!  And we need one, goodness, there are only so many things Hubby can do with his motorcycle!  But we didn't leave Best Buy empty handed!  We got a few Blu-Rays to add to our collection and David pre-bought The Lion King for me!!!! OMG October 4th cannot come quick enough!!  FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I'm just a little excited!  David started feeling sick, or hungry, he wasn't sure.  LOL, so we picked up some dinner and headed home to watch Something Borrowed! And went to bed early!!! YAY!!!  I'm making us some Chinese Beef and Broccoli tonight and then we're going to our friend's birthday party after the game, I need to make some yellow cake with chocolate frosting too!  Hope everyone has a great weekend!  Go Cowboys and Go Sooners!! (I know, I have a problem)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Reintegration

Can I just start this off by saying that I'd prepared for the worst?!  I have a wonderful Sister who, thank you Lord, has gone through a very similar situation with her husband in their first deployment.  Now, David and I went through a deployment together in 2009 when he deployed to Iraq, but we were engaged then, and as hard as that was, it was nothing compared to this past deployment and being married! 

I would tell Aimee things about what was going on with David and she would get so frustrated because she had dealt with the same things in her husband, which made me feel better to have an opinion of what to and not to do.. what to expect.  It was nice to be able to vent to someone who not only understood, but wasn't going to take sides over one or the other!  It's not about sides, but goodness if my Momma believes David could never do any wrong!  Gosh that was so frustrating! 

Looking back, it's hard to think of where we were just a few months ago.  It brings tears to my eyes and puts a knot in my throat when I think about how we were towards one another and who we were as individuals.  I can't believe such a tremendous change occurred in just a few months.  Shorter than that actually.. it was instantaneous from the moment he got off the plane and his leave started.

It wasn't so much the reuniting that made the change, I think the understanding that a change in me personally needed to be made had been coming for a long time, it was just bringing all the pieces together to make that change click.  Once I was in his arms, I felt complete, but it was a complete that I finally realized was accentuated by David, but not necessary.  That I could reach my full potential without being entirely dependent on him.  Is it better with him around?  NO QUESTION!!! But from the moment we met back in HS, David has always silently encouraged me to be a better version of me.  The summer was more positive with that understanding.  But, there was also a shift in our relationship when leave started.  I can't explain it, because I can't explain where we were before.  Our first few months of being married, we were dealing with severe changes and the aftermath of David's first deployment.  We also didn't know what we were doing and things weren't bad, but they weren't good either.

Being apart during the first 10 months of this deployment DID NOT HELP! Imagine that?! Haha!  Things happened between us that I never thought would occur and I had never really been able to stay mad at David or him at me, but we sure learned how to over this past year.  And when we hit rock bottom over and over and continued with the fights, I was sure it couldn't get any worse.  I know that we have a large effect on the other individual.  If David would call, I would get so excited, but the second I would hear the negativity in his voice, my excitement dropped and we pulled one another down from there.  Not healthy, obviously.  But being together over leave, we knew we needed our time, that we needed to just enjoy those few weeks and enjoy one another's company and not mess with anything else.

As coming home got closer, I feared that we would face the nasty post-effects of deployment once again.  I have a problem of setting my expectations too high and I worked not to have any expectations with David coming home, which was hard.  To have complete blind faith and walk in not knowing what to expect or what will be thrown at you?  No fun.  But it's what happened.  The second we were reunited, it was just perfect.  Perfect.  Our time with family, together, apart.. it's all been great.

We've been much more communicative than in the past and we've also made an effort to do things together, even if it's David playing his games downstairs while I'm reading for class (How does he get away with not having homework?!) or checking in constantly.  We're working together on everything too, just helping one another out with things.

Since school started, our schedules haven't completely mashed up.  I have Tuesday and Thursday off with classes on Monday Wednesday and Friday and he has classes on Tuesday and Thursday and is off on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  But it's still worked out wonderfully.  And I mean, there are the little things, like when I'm trying to read or concentrate on something and he chooses those moments to be all chatty!  Haha!  I'm thankful for him wanting to talk, but it also is irritating!

We bought a new bed (mattress, pillows, and all) since he's been home!  Believe me, I've had that bed and mattress since I was 10 years old and we NEEDED a new bed!  I know we were both sick of rolling into the middle.  But with this new and incredible bed, I guess I do things in my deep sleep that I haven't done before.  I may accidentally kick him or hit him, or talk to him in my sleep?  Poor guy.  The first night we had it, he kept waking me up, telling me I was pushing him or that I was snoring, or I was talking in my sleep.  The next night, we established a rule that if I do those things, just ignore me and roll over, because I'm probably deep in sleep and it won't help to wake me up!  :) So, things have been good.  Very routine.  He goes to work, I stay home and read... a lot.  I go to class and then to work or to rehearsal and he stays home and does stuff around the house or works on homework.  It's just been a wonderful transition.  We're in the full swing of school now with both of us working over 20 hours a week too.  So, it's busy, but we make it work!  Here's to the next year of hard work, classes, and LOTS of love and time with my Honey!!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to bring you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11