It's been a long time since my last post, and I'll probably catch up on life later, but for now, I just need to type. WARNING: This blog post comes full of feelings and opinions that have been forming for months and months. I just need to lay it out there, more for my sake than anything else.
I am beyond anxious for my husband to come home for R&R. I don't know what's going to happen at this point. Apparently, the few weeks leading up to homecomings are stressful and low points for most relationships, but I had never experienced this. The past few months have been TERRIBLE. I don't know where we are or why and I don't know how to get out of this sinkhole that we are in. When did things get to this point? There's no communication and everything, regardless of how we try, turns into an argument. I feel like our marriage has been a roller coaster of emotions, ups and downs multiple times every day, and personally, I'm tired of it all and don't know how much more I can take of it. There have been points where we honestly didn't think he would come home for leave, just because things are getting that bad. We have no communication and therefore, nothing to talk about. And we've only been married for a year and a half.. I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of being preached at that everything will be fine when he gets home. I'm honestly more nervous about picking him up at the airport than I am excited to see him. I have no idea what's going to happen and no clue where we need to go from here. I feel like I don't have any fight left in me..
9 months ago