Ok, so quick question. Being a military wife, is there ever a point where you feel like your circumstances are unfair or that it makes things more difficult in your day to day life? I've felt that way for awhile. It's been a stressful week, what with midterms and all, and it's about to get more stressful, but today I had my first of many breakTHROUGHS!! I say that because I may have cried and questioned a lot, been a bit emotional, and it started to look like a breakdown, but then I realized something. This is MY life! Everyone has their life and this is one part of mine. ONE part.. And I've been allowing everything with the deployments and the drastic changes that have occurred in the past 3 years to be excuses and to overcome who I am as a person and how I live my life. I realized that I haven't truly been able to show who I am and what I am capable of AT ALL since I've been at OSU. Get ready people!!
I have less than a year of school left before I graduate. LESS THAN A YEAR!!! *Cue Hallelujah Chorus* I know I haven't shown what my full potential is and what I can do when I truly apply myself to everything that I'm doing. Gosh, I feel like I've been behaving as another individual and having this realization of what I can do to get out of this rut makes me feel like I've gained a part of me back! It's so liberating and encouraging! But, I finally had the nerve to say that it doesn't matter what I'm going through because that doesn't make me who I am as a person. How I REACT to what happens around me based on what personal things are going on in my life shows my character and who I am as an individual. I also realized that I deserve this! I deserve the right to be a better person, student, musician, wife, daughter, sister, friend.. all of it! I am the biggest obstacle keeping myself from achieving greatness and I refuse to let that be a barrier any longer. I owe myself the ability to be the very best that I can be, and not for anyone else's benefit.. but for myself! I have fight left in me and I'm ready to stand up and fight for what I want in life and what I am meant to do! :) It's been a good night! Now, on to practicing for conducting tomorrow!! :D
8 months ago