Our journey throughout our first year of marriage and our second deployment.

Monday, August 30, 2010

UPDATE!!! Where is my brain?!?

Hey all! I'm sorry I haven't been able to update in awhile! I can't even explain how crazy life has been since David left on the 15th. Marching band started and left hardly any time to unpack or do laundry, and then school started and then Taco and Belle got sick.. and life has been a lot of running around and playing catch up for the past 2 weeks. I need a break!

Just so everyone knows, I have almost gotten a complete go-ahead to go see David during his 4-day pass! I have a scheduled music history test on the 20th of this month and I'm not sure exactly when I'll be back from seeing David, so we're trying to work out what we can do with the test and how I can take it. My professor is an interim teacher and filling in for the normal music history professor while he's in Poland writing a book and teaching for a year. In the syllabus, it states that a student may not miss any exam because of preference or vacation. My professor understands that this situation falls under neither of those categories, but he is still wanting to check with the higher-ups just to make sure that it's alright if I take the test before or after. So, hopefully I'll hear about that soon. He has no doubt that it will all work out and is in complete support of what David and I are going through, as are most of the faculty and staff here.

So, classes have been crazy. Life in general has been crazy. I don't feel like I've really had a second to breath and I've hardly gotten everything done that I need to do. I just feel like my brain is everywhere. How do people run entire households on their own? I just feel like I'm going to lose it at any second! I like to plan and enjoy and the past few weeks have been living minute by minute with no time to look ahead to the future, even if it's a few minutes into the future. I just feel overwhelmed and I need my "second brain", aka Hubby to help with all of this. I know he's going through his own stuff too in preparing for this deployment and taking classes, so I'm not about to burden him with my lack of ability to focus. I've spent the evening working out my budget and calendars for the month and hopefully that will help me keep on top of things. I can't believe September is just a few hours away.. that's just crazy to me! I'm definitely ready for the cooler weather and I am so ready to see my man and spend a few days relaxing together! Hope you all have a wonderful week and I'll try to update more! :)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Overcoming Life's Obstacles

Band camp is almost officially over! We have our preview performance in about an hour and then I will have survived my first band camp week in the CMB! :) It's been a tough week, but I have learned so much in the past few days and I'm thankful for my wonderful family and friends for the lessons they have helped me learn.

I posted the other day about my challenges with my band directors and them not being supportive of me going to see my husband during his 4-day pass. After a lot of questions and even thoughts of changing my major, I've come to a huge conclusion! Being a band director is what I want to do with my life! I love band, the people in it, the experiences it gives, and the feeling of passion and fulfillment that it gives. I've known for years that teaching music is what I want to do with my life, whether I teach toddlers, elementary or high school.. as long as I'm giving students the same joy of music and band that I was given, my purpose in life will be fulfilled. I cam to the realization that some people may think they are in control of my future, but they are mistaken. God controls my future and He alone! Nothing worth fighting for is easy, and the challenges and obstacles that have been put before me will only make me into a stronger musician and a better music teacher. I have an AMAZING family and they will support me in any way that I can and make sure that nothing keeps me from my dream and from the purpose that God has given me. I will not change my major if the answer to go see David happens to be no. And nothing could keep me from being with him those last few days before he leaves. If I have to endure some form of punishment for putting my husband and my family before music and before band, then so be it. But it will be SO worth it because nothing means more to me in this world! So, hopefully today I will get an answer. No matter what the answer may be, I know that everything will work out just fine because He is in control of my future!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Rough Week...

I started band camp this week and man, is it kicking my butt!! It's been a physically trying week as well as an emotionally difficult week.

At the end of the semester last Spring, as we were learning more of David's deployment details, I met with both my band directors and discussed the future and David's deployment. They were both understanding and told me they would work with our schedules. Well, the other night, David found out the dates for his leave. I immediately emailed both directors, as I had promised, letting them know the possible dates and asking if it would be possible for me to be excused from the activities during those days. The response from both was less than expected. It was disappointing to not have that support that I had been so thankful for and relied on. It's not looking like I will be excused to go say goodbye to my husband. It's hard, to say the least. My head director is obviously upset with my request to be excused and hasn't looked at me or talked to me since he sent his less-than-friendly email. When he left a few days ago, I held back and didn't really say goodbye because I figured I'd see him in a few weeks and would save it for then. David doesn't know about any of this, and he doesn't need to.. not until I get a straight "yes" or "no" from my directors. He needs to focus on his training and not worry about this. It's a burden that I will carry, one that is quickly breaking my heart. I just can't understand the fact that some people can be so cold and not understand the severity of this situation and what David and I have been through. We started dating right before his mobilization in Summer of 2008, got engaged in August and he left for Iraq a few days later. He was in Iraq for a year with minimal communication and I planned the whole wedding and we were married about a month after his return to the states. Then, we were able to spend 9 months of our first year of marriage together. He's been training and mobilized all summer, so we haven't spent most of the past 3 months together, and now, he's getting ready to leave for a year. This is my HUSBAND!!! It's not my Dad, not my cousin, not my boyfriend... it's the man that I have pledged my life to. He's my best friend, my second half, and with him, I feel like I can be the person I was meant to be, he makes me a better person! If anything were to happen to him during this deployment and I was told I couldn't go down to see him before he left, I would be devastated. Nothing.. NOTHING is keeping me from spending those days with my husband, I don't care what it is that I may have to endure or give up. It's been a few days and I still have gotten no official answer as to what my directors are going to let me do. My fingers are crossed, and I'm just hoping that it all gets figured out soon.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Going Going Going...

Do you ever feel like the energizer bunny? Well, my life has been running on Energizer batteries since Sunday morning!! The deployment ceremony went well.. as well as a deployment ceremony can go I guess. I was thankful to have a lot of our family there. It was much harder than I thought it would be. We both stayed up all night Saturday tossing and turning with "sick stomachs". You know that combination of feeling like you're going to throw up and like you can't breathe? ... that was what we both had. We tried to remain positive though! Although there were a ton of pictures taken that day, these are just a few of my favorites!


It was hard to watch him leave, but I know everything will be ok! Our families went to his sister's house right after David left and we all had lunch together. It was nice to be surrounded by everyone! I went to pick up Taco and Belle from Bri's and then hurried back home. I literally jumped out of the car, put Taco and Belle inside the apartment, changed, and headed up to the school to start paining the fields, meet with the new band director, do "rookie" orientation, and then get my band uniform. I was there from 3 until around 11 and then I had to go get groceries... L-O-N-G night!

Yesterday was the start of Band Camp! OMG do I hurt! I have NEVER worked this hard at anything! It's been wonderful so far.. but we'll see how I feel at the end of the week. I promise to have legs, abs, and arms of steel by the time band camp is over! We've been going all day and it's helped some, but I also haven't been able to emotionally deal with David being gone. I'm sure that it's a good thing, but I sort of need that ugly cry moment, you know? I'm trying to stay busy and positive though. Tonight is literally the first time I've sat down and had some "me" time since Sunday morning. I treated myself by ordering BOGO pants from NY& Co. :) It's been Go! GO! GO!! And with band camp going all day, I am struggling to find the time to prepare for school, clean the house, unpack, do laundry, ...practice. OMG it's been crazy. Hopefully things will settle down soon as school starts and my brain will refocus on classes and everything else that needs to be done! I found out David's 4-day pass dates today. Very bittersweet. Thank goodness for wonderful family and friends. I love you all and am so blessed to have you in my life!! Now for bed, another long day tomorrow!!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Day #3- A Relaxing Day Spent Together

HEY WORLD!!! Let it be know that my husband and I went and got mani/pedis together today! :) I LOVE getting my nails done and think it's the most relaxing thing.. David, like a lot of men, has never had a mani/pedi and he LOVED the pedicure! He'll probably start getting pedicures every now and then after he gets back home! :)

So, David went and took care of some stuff this morning and after lunch, we headed off to the mall for our mani/pedis! We also went ahead and got him new tennis shoes that he can workout and do PT in! He was so excited! After that, we went to Lowe's and picked out the washer and dryer we're getting in the next few months. We ALSO went through Lowe's and started picking out and talking about what things we would like in our "Dream Home" someday. It probably won't be for 20 years, and we'll probably need to start saving up now... but it's our goal for our future. My big thing is WOOD FLOORS!!! If we can have wood floors, I'll be one happy girl! And if I can convince my husband that wood floors are better than carpet (easy to clean, no stains from spit up and doggie accidents, nice looking.. I could go on and on) then I'll be one successful and happy girl!! :)

We had a little time to burn, so we headed over to Best Buy to continue in our "dream"! haha! David is big in electronics... what man isn't! So, we looked at TV's (his college graduation gift to himself) and then... we went to the Apple section *Insert scary music HERE* When David got back from Iraq last year, he "treated" himself to a new 24" iMac. Note to others* it does NOT fit under the desk... and is freaking huge. BUT, he loves it and he worked hard and deserves it! So, we're now talking about selling the iMac, buying a new MacBook Pro and getting rid of one and a half of our desks (we have matching desks and they each have a "top" section for shelving). We'd have a lot more room in our office/guest bedroom. And then when David gets back, he can get a new computer! We'll see how it works. There will be a lot to do financially while he's gone! But it will all be worth it!

So, tonight we're going out to eat with some friends and David's parents are joining us. It'll be a nice evening and a good break before coming back to the hotel and re-packing EVERYTHING!!! Tomorrow's the big day! Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

ARGHH!!!!

So, I was talking to a friend today! We were discussing David's deployment and that he's been home for only a year and now he's leaving again for another tour and will be gone... another year.
The girl actually told me "That's not that bad! It could be worse! :)"

Are you KIDDING ME?!?! Do you have a husband/fiance in the military who has deployed? Nope.

I just couldn't believe she told me it wasn't that bad and that it could be worse. I mean, I know it sucks, and that's fine! Life sucks sometimes. But, I also know that God is in complete control and that He has a plan! He has been preparing David and I for this throughout our entire relationship and over the next year, we will be faced with blessings and challenges and will come out stronger as individuals and as a couple! I have faith that everything will be fine and I am so thankful for the support system of family and friends that I have been surrounded with! :) It just irks me that people say silly things like that when they have no idea what they're talking about!! Sorry for the brief vent.

David's almost done for the day and he's having a "Man Night" tonight while I get to hang out with my BFF Darko!!! I cannot wait! :) Hope you all are having a wonderful start to your weekend! :)

Day #1 and MilSpouse Friday Fill-In


Yesterday started our Title 10 orders and so we are now officially on our way with this deployment! The past week has been wonderful! Scrapbooking with my sisters was just what I needed to get through the weekend and David surprised me with flowers for our anniversary! It was hard not being together, but I think overall, the day was good! Daddy and I went on our Daddy/Daughter Date and had a good time and I was so excited to pick David up on Monday! We had a good time with family, but I have been sick since then, so that hasn't been much fun... but we've still enjoyed our time together!

1. What is ONE thing you’d like civilians to understand about being a military family?

I would like civilians to understand what really goes on in a deployment! Understand what it's like having your better half on the other side of the world with minimal communication and not off on a "business trip", but fighting and in a war. I wish civilians understood the emotions that come with being a military family and the added challenges that it brings to everyday life.

2. What is your favorite mistake?

Getting Taco and Belle! We'd only been married about a month and a half when we got them and by the first night, I was having a breakdown,... but I couldn't give them back and I can't resist their sweet faces and I love them more than anything!!

3. What indulgence could you give up for a year?

Pop! I'm working on it right now! I think it's been 3 months since I've had any pop! :)

4. If you could be a winged animal, what would you be?

I'd be a Dove! They mate for life and David would be the other dove!!

5. What is one question you’d like to see asked in a future MFF?

What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Final Countdown..

... I know, cheesy title. Sorry.

But, it's true! At some point in the next few days, I'm off to my hometown and I'm meeting up with all the women in David's family and we're having a girls scrapbook weekend! I'm really excited!! That, and my Dad and I are going on our Daddy/Daughter Date on the 7th to celebrate my wedding anniversary! It should be great! I've been running around all day doing laundry, ironing, packing, getting ready to be gone for 12 days (thank goodness that Brenna will be staying here) and getting things together that David will want/need before he officially starts active duty.
I've made a few gifts and also got our anniversary present today. I got a gorgeous clock (the traditional 1-year anniversary gift) and it will be wound yearly on our anniversary! But when he comes in to town, we're going to celebrate! I'm taking him for a picnic at the church where we got married and then we're going to our special place, the Rose Garden, and THEN we're going to dinner, probably at Olive Garden, where he'll get his anniversary present and then we'll have cupcakes and sparkling wine for dessert! I think it'll be great!

For the night before he leaves, I've planned a few things! I figured we'll probably go to BJ's for dinner and have one of their amazing pazookies and some sparkling wine. I made David a book on Snapfish that tells our Love Story, so I'll give him that along with the journals we write in during deployments and his box for pictures and letters. THEN, comes the Big surprise! For my birthday while David was in Iraq, he sent me an iTouch. It was amazing and I'm so thankful that he sent me something to organize the wedding plans with and be able to be in constant communication with him through. Well, I've been working on the iTouch all day and I restored it. I also uploaded pictures, contacts, dates and birthdays, movies, our wedding video, apps, and songs for him. Hopefully he'll be able to use it while he's in country, at least on the way there! I'm super excited about it!

So, yeah! Busy busy couple of weeks ahead! I'm sure I'll fill you all in with lots of pictures when I get back!! Have a wonderful rest of the week!

Monday, August 2, 2010

It's August?

I can't believe school starts back up in a couple of weeks. I just finished last Thursday and this weekend was wonderful and full of NO sleep. I always hear people talking about how they've been up for 30 hours with no sleep whatsoever and I have a hard time believing them, because I would never be able to do that. Well... here's my weekend.

Thursday after my exam, my dear friend Brenna came in to town and we shopped for t-shirts, had our traditional lunch at Qdoba before her section leader meeting with our new band director, and then we went with the drum majors to McAllister's for their Free Tea Day!! It was so good! We practiced for a few hours and then went home and had Arby's for dinner, watched some movies and worked on some stuff for Kappa Kappa Psi. Poor B was exhausted and fell asleep mid-sentence! We went to bed and while I slept in until 9:30... Brenna was up and awake at 6:30. Gosh did I feel like a bad host. We had these Yoplait Blends Smoothies for breakfast and they were gross.. then we got ready and went to eat lunch before going and practicing some more. She had to go do a pep gig Friday evening, so I headed home and was preparing to go to bed at like 5:00 PM... I had to get up and be ready to leave by 3:30 AM to meet Brenna at her home so we could drive to Texas for our Chapter Leadership Conference with Kappa Kappa Psi. Well... I started ordering pictures for scrapbooking weekend and decided to use the offer for 50 free Snapfish pictures by making David a book about our life together for the deployment. I started at 5 and ended after midnight.. so, no sleep for me. I pulled an all-nighter and thankfully, my friend, Leslie, stayed up with me while I drove the 2.5 hours to Brenna's house. It took A LOT to find her place in the middle of freaking nowhere and in the process, she almost ran me over trying to find me in her new Camero. Not cool. After stopping and getting donuts, we were on our way to Texas!! The conference was amazing! I saw some of my favorite people and learned a lot! All the people from Alpha went to McAllister's after the conference and talked about all our hopes and goals for the coming year! So, we left Texas at around 7:30? On the way home. We hadn't even driven 30 minutes before we both had the sleepy giggles and stopped to get some frapps with a shot of espresso. Didn't help too much and combined with lots of sweet tea, there were a lot of stops. We also ended up getting lost, so rather than getting back at around 11,.. we pulled in to her driveway at about 12:30. And then I still had to drive back. I don't even know how I did it, I was so exhausted. I know it's not safe, and I promise not to ever pull another all-nighter. This is not a chick who can function after 40+ hours of "Go Go Go!" and no sleep.

So, yesterday was spent recuperating. And it's AUGUST!! My anniversary is this weekend and I'm still pretty emotional about everything. I'll probably head home in the next few days and get ready for an amazing scrapbooking weekend with my sisters and the women in David's family! I'm really looking forward to Girl Time! Daddy and I have our date on the 7th to celebrate my anniversary. David's not taking it well that we can't be together,... I just keep trying to tell myself that it's not a big deal, but it is! It's our VERY FIRST wedding anniversary and we only freaking get one! We only get one of all of them, but I think the 1st, the 5th, the 10th, the 25th and the 50th are the big ones that should be celebrated big time. I've already determined where we are going next year to celebrate! It'll be like a second honeymoon and I'm excited to surprise him with it when he gets home. But for now, along with missing that special time together, I have no clue when his block leave begins. People keep asking what the plan is and what we're going to do.. I still have to reserve our hotel for where we're staying... it's all just really emotional right now. So, I baked a yellow cake with chocolate icing and my plan is to have some yummy Homemade Mac and Cheese for dinner, watch me some Real Housewives of New Jersey Drama and indulge in some delicious cake before hitting the pillow! I hope you all have a wonderful night!!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to bring you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11