Our journey throughout our first year of marriage and our second deployment.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Rough Week...

I started band camp this week and man, is it kicking my butt!! It's been a physically trying week as well as an emotionally difficult week.

At the end of the semester last Spring, as we were learning more of David's deployment details, I met with both my band directors and discussed the future and David's deployment. They were both understanding and told me they would work with our schedules. Well, the other night, David found out the dates for his leave. I immediately emailed both directors, as I had promised, letting them know the possible dates and asking if it would be possible for me to be excused from the activities during those days. The response from both was less than expected. It was disappointing to not have that support that I had been so thankful for and relied on. It's not looking like I will be excused to go say goodbye to my husband. It's hard, to say the least. My head director is obviously upset with my request to be excused and hasn't looked at me or talked to me since he sent his less-than-friendly email. When he left a few days ago, I held back and didn't really say goodbye because I figured I'd see him in a few weeks and would save it for then. David doesn't know about any of this, and he doesn't need to.. not until I get a straight "yes" or "no" from my directors. He needs to focus on his training and not worry about this. It's a burden that I will carry, one that is quickly breaking my heart. I just can't understand the fact that some people can be so cold and not understand the severity of this situation and what David and I have been through. We started dating right before his mobilization in Summer of 2008, got engaged in August and he left for Iraq a few days later. He was in Iraq for a year with minimal communication and I planned the whole wedding and we were married about a month after his return to the states. Then, we were able to spend 9 months of our first year of marriage together. He's been training and mobilized all summer, so we haven't spent most of the past 3 months together, and now, he's getting ready to leave for a year. This is my HUSBAND!!! It's not my Dad, not my cousin, not my boyfriend... it's the man that I have pledged my life to. He's my best friend, my second half, and with him, I feel like I can be the person I was meant to be, he makes me a better person! If anything were to happen to him during this deployment and I was told I couldn't go down to see him before he left, I would be devastated. Nothing.. NOTHING is keeping me from spending those days with my husband, I don't care what it is that I may have to endure or give up. It's been a few days and I still have gotten no official answer as to what my directors are going to let me do. My fingers are crossed, and I'm just hoping that it all gets figured out soon.

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to bring you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11